Category: Sport

Little Frigging All-Nude Mass Pogo Stick Display Team

The Little Frigging All-Nude Mass Pogo Stick display team are preparing themselves for an exhibition of pogo-stick based perversions at the UK Annual Rude And Naughty Exhibition at the O2 Arena, in London at the end of this month. As you probably know, if you indulge in a frequent perusal of my organ whenever I display my latest outpourings, quite often the Little Frigging naked pogo stick squad can be found exhibiting themselves to the public whenever the opportunity arises. They have displayed themselves to many thousands of people throughout the length, and – on two occasions – the breadth,…

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Dear Gertrude

But, dear Gertrude, there are only so many sensuous situations we can ponder upon in our garden of dreams. You may have the tennis racquet and I have a pineapple, but where are the politicians when we need them? Of course, many philosophers down the ages have held a pomegranate in one hand while cursing the darkness of the human soul and/or Wolverhampton, but we my dear Gertrude are made of sterner stuff. Even if it requires a deal more sellotape to hold it together compared to the halcyon days of your long departed youth. Just why your youth departed…

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The More Advanced Fruit-Based Sexual Perversions

We have mentioned fruit-based perversions before, but for those wishing to further their understanding of these more esoteric deviations today we are going to examine some of the more advanced fruit-based sexual perversions. Such deviations as the Loganberry Run and the Strawberry Feel are, quite evidently, more for the summer months. This is especially so in the case of the Loganberry Run where the loganberry bowler will need a long run up before bowling the loganberries. That is if the receiver is to get the full erotic benefit from the event. With the Strawberry Feel, of course, the long light…

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Strip Ludo and World Domination

Spanglethighs Dromedarywrench is probably the UK’s most underrated Strip Ludo player currently on the scene. As we all know, Strip Ludo is a highly-competitive game, especially at the professional level. These days, some Strip Ludo Grand Mistresses have to live beyond Earth orbit for tax reasons. Every four years, the Strip Ludo World Tournament is the most watched board game on the world’s sports and adult TV channels, with annual advertising and sponsorship revenues in the billions. Those who have inside knowledge of the game’s governing body, FISL, say that the body’s accountants need a special button on their calculators…

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On Making Full Use of the Orgy Pitch

Sometimes it can be a little too disconcerting to see one’s Inter-Village Orgy League team not making full use of the width of the orgy pitch, especially when they are trailing by several points or at least one multiple orgasm as the match enters the final quarter of the third half. Of course, the orgy team themselves will no doubt be as eager as possible to make as much use of the other side’s end as they can, and – of course – to go deeper, especially as the clock begins to run down. However, there is always the danger…

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The Naked Pogo Stick Steeplechase

Summer is, at last, in the air and so it is time for all the denizens of Little Frigging to dust off our pogo sticks and meet on the village green for the first of this year’s Naked Pogo Stick Steeplechases. This year we should have several good races as we have been promised a good summer by the weather forecasters. Even Old Feebletrousers has been quite upbeat about it, even his divinations utilising his myriad ancient danglings have meant his prognostications have turned positive about the prospects for this summer. A decent naked pogo-stick steeplechase – of course –…

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Olympic Level Cheese Ignoring

Spigot Tremblehammer is probably the world’s leading exponent of the ancient art of cheese ignoring. Although there are still several professional and semi-professional cheese ignoring leagues throughout the world (and Canada), many sports fans often overlook it. However, all that is set to change now that the Olympic committee has confirmed that cheese ignoring will be – only for the second time – included in the Olympic games. That is providing the Olympic organisers can find a city daft enough to stump up the eye-bleeding sums necessary to host the next games. Of course, cheese ignoring was all set to…

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First All-Village Orgy Advice

‘If in doubt, always grease the wallaby first,’ wise words, I’m sure you will all agree. It was always the advice I received from Grand Old Uncle Stagnant when I, as a callow young man, first began attending the all-village orgies in the Little Frigging village hall. It seems a long time ago now, mainly because it was - indeed – a long time ago. So now when I look upon the young men and ladies of the village as they arrive at their first orgies, never quite sure of where to put their coats, or what to do with…

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The Immersion of the Teeb Hags

Now, as we stand at the very edge of the Little Frigging village boundary, near the river Teeb, we are ready to partake in a picturesque ceremony dating right back to the invention of tourism. The river Teeb is notable for the number of witches dunked in it during the witch-finding frenzies of the late 1600s, these so-called witches later became known as the Dunked Teeb Hags. Consequently, every year around this time, when the tourists begin to return to the village in enough numbers to make fleecing them economically worthwhile, several denizens of Little Frigging head down to the…

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The Sexual Perversions Cup

Well, now then, now then…. I can't think of that much to say, really. Except that we had expected to do better, much, much better. To be knocked out like that, before even reaching the quarterfinals, was a bitter blow. A very bitter blow. The Little-Frigging-In-The-Wold Gleaner had confidently predicted that this year would - once again - be our year. Talk about Thirty years of hurt - this has been much worse. This year we felt we had such a strong team too: The defence: [Maureen Trouser-Quandary (of course!), Labia Entanglements (The Post Mistress), Fanny Knickerless (The Cake-Shop Manageress),…

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