Category: politics

Going for a Walk

Far be it from me – about 1473 miles as the crow flies providing there is no French air traffic control strike – to make any such claim as to the veracity of what is about to be now undertaken. But occasionally these things need to be aired and aired in public. That is what she more or less said to the judge anyway. He - being of a more open frame of mind than the judiciary were once renowned for - agreed there was some merit to her claim. However, he said that such open and frank displays could…

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Llamas and Bureaucracy – A Crisis in the Making

Still, I suppose you know what llamas are like. Most people these days have at least some familiarity with what was once regarded as exotic wildlife - at least in places far from their natural habit – through the medium of the TV nature documentary. Although, even these days, there are still some people who are surprised by the llama’s natural antipathy towards any form of bureaucracy. Many wildlife programme-makers have been somewhat lax in this regard, and not just with llamas. Often, they prefer to fill their programmes with sweeping panoramas of herds migrating across the great plain in…

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21st Century Political Theory

Parkingspace Bewlideredswan is probably the world’s leading 21st-century political theorist. Political Science up until the middle of the Twentieth Century assumed that there was some point to politics. However, as events in the late 1970s proved, Left Wing political theories although they did sound nice, never did or could work. Alternatively, it was demonstrated over the following few decades that Right Wing political policies only buggered things up in different ways to those inept policies from the Left. As more and more people realised that politics was at best useless and at worse caused more harm than good, many decided…

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That Look in her Eyes

She had that look in her eyes again. Helt was worried. He remembered the last time she’d had that look in her eyes. It had not ended well, at least not for him. What is more to find out she had that look in her eyes meant that Helt had to be close enough to her to see the look. That proximity brought him within range. Not that Shemul was dangerous as such. After all, Helt was the king, and he ruled his lands with an iron fist. Dukes, barons and earls trembled before him. Shemul, though, was his queen.…

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Long Live the… King

‘Your Majesty,’ Menvin bowed low. ‘The king is dead.’ ‘Oh.’ ‘I’m sorry.’ ‘There will be a period of mourning, no doubt?’ ‘Of course, your majesty.’ ‘Then after that… my coronation. How long will it be?’ ‘Er….’ Menvin shifted from foot to foot, his eye caught by a detail on a tapestry behind Shilen’s head. ‘My coronation? When will I be crowned king, Menvin?’ Shilen got up from the chair and took a step closer to the Lord High Councillor. ‘Well?’ ‘There is a problem, majesty?’ ‘What sort of problem. I am next in line, am I not?’ ‘Hmm.’ ‘Are you…

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The History of Politics

Back then, no-one expected it to last. At least, they thought we would not have quite as much of it as we have now. Back in those early days of civilisation, people expected that politics would be kept behind closed doors where it belonged. They assumed that decent people would do their best to avoid politics as best they could, and - only if necessary – would they have to soil their hands with it, and then as little as possible. In those days too, many assumed that only men would engage in the sordid necessity of politics. Women, they…

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The Victorian Cheese Mines and Poverty

Pencilcase Shoveha’penny was one of the Victorian era’s most famous social reformers. She was a daughter of the UK’s richest Cheese mine owning families in the Wensleydale area. This was a region known for its extraordinary number of cheese mines. Consequently, the poor from the surrounding rural areas were drawn to the cheese mining villages, each clustering around a local cheese pit. By modern standards, the rows of terraced houses in these villages were poor and basic. But for the rural workers of the Victorian era they were a massive improvement on what they were used to. However, for reformers…

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Space Junk

It was another one of those things. Drenk sighed. This would need more than a formal warning when she got there. This made seven she’d counted in this sector alone. Analysis had shown their trajectories all mapped back to the same originating planet. Drenk hoped a warning not to launch any more of their litter into space would be enough. But now as she drew closer, she was outraged to discover that not only were they littering the space lanes with their junk they were also polluting the radio wavelengths with their… well, noise pollution was the phrase that sprung…

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New Home Secretary in Billy Connolly Tribute

New Home Secretary performs his tribute to Billy Connolly’s incontinence pants routine outside the Home Office Yesterday the newly-appointed Home Secretary in the UK government celebrated his new position by performing a tribute to what he called ‘my favourite comedy routine’. ‘As we all know,’ the new Home Secretary said. ‘Billy Connolly's immortal comment 'The desire to be a politician should bar you for life from ever becoming one. Don’t vote, it only encourages them.’ sums up everything a normal person feels about politicians and politics.’ The Home Secretary added ‘So on becoming Home Secretary I decided I’d perform Billy’s…

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Another Morning in the Sun Empire

‘Mornings.’ The emperor looked out from his palace balcony at the city below. ‘Your majesty?’ Pelgrin sighed. It wasn’t going to be one of those days, was it? The emperor had once glanced at a couple of pages in a book and therefore occasionally fancied himself an intellectual. The emperor turned as if he was about to impart some great pearl of wisdom, but - in turning – he must have forgotten what he was about to say. Pelgrin exhaled in relief. The last thing the Sun Empire needed was an emperor who believed he knew what he was doing,…

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