Category: History

The Theory of Pie

In the past, people often thought the universe was unchanging and eternal… at least until the invention of the pie. Philosophers, after Plato, thought this world was somehow an imperfect copy of some ideal existence. This world was a mere shadow cast on the cave wall, of the perfect world. But as Francis Bacon discovered centuries later in one of his earliest true scientific experiments, putting pasty around some meat changes everything. Although, the Greek philosophers, notably Heraclitus, had first noted that people rarely wanted to eat the same meal twice in a row. So, shoving some meat, veg and…

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The Philosophy of Bacon Sandwiches

‘Each donkey is unique in its own way. Then again so is each mandolin. However, approaching the wrong donkey with the wrong mandolin is not recommended. Nor – for that matter - is approaching the right donkey with the wrong mandolin.’ As many of those who have studied philosophy will recognise, those are the words of the great post-neo-realist prephenominalistional philosopher Bert ‘Bert’ Presupposition. Not only did Presupposition come up with what is undoubtedly the greatest examination of the complex relationship between donkeys and mandolins in the whole of philosophy, he also claimed with evidence to back up his claim,…

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How Cheese Made Civilisation Possible

Many people these days are familiar with how evolutionary psychology has shaped the human mind. For back in the early years, when humans were small groups of hunter gatherers, there was little or no naturally occurring cheese to be found. Those who did discover the natural cheese deposits began to mine it and develop the various stone tools that archaeology has shown were used to mine the cheese. Although rather primitive by today’s cheese mining technology, those early stone tools enabled many of these small bands of hunter-gatherers to settle in places where the cheese could be mined. Originally, archaeologists…

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21st Century Political Theory

Parkingspace Bewlideredswan is probably the world’s leading 21st-century political theorist. Political Science up until the middle of the Twentieth Century assumed that there was some point to politics. However, as events in the late 1970s proved, Left Wing political theories although they did sound nice, never did or could work. Alternatively, it was demonstrated over the following few decades that Right Wing political policies only buggered things up in different ways to those inept policies from the Left. As more and more people realised that politics was at best useless and at worse caused more harm than good, many decided…

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A Surfeit of the Middle Ages

Although born in the late Middle-Ages, Palfrey Surfeit became one of the most famous proto-scientists and artists of his – and all – time. Surfeit astounded the scholars of the period when he discovered that women were naked under their clothes. He also proved the moon was not actually made of the navel lint of angels as was commonly believed back then. The natural scientists of the time, following Aristotle, were aware that there were - in theory - such things as naked ladies. After all, they believed the first woman, Eve, was naked in the Garden of Eden. But…

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How Computers Became Ubiquitous

Fumigate Sockdrawer became the world’s foremost computer scientists at an unusually young age. He developed one of the leading software programs that became essential for every computer in the home or workplace in the early years of the internet. Sockdrawer was also instrumental in the growth of the internet from a hobbyist pastime to the essential service it is these days. There have been many discussions of the early days of the computer revolution and its pioneers before. However, even the more comprehensive histories have sometimes overlooked the role of Sockdrawer in the story of the computer. As more or…

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The History of Politics

Back then, no-one expected it to last. At least, they thought we would not have quite as much of it as we have now. Back in those early days of civilisation, people expected that politics would be kept behind closed doors where it belonged. They assumed that decent people would do their best to avoid politics as best they could, and - only if necessary – would they have to soil their hands with it, and then as little as possible. In those days too, many assumed that only men would engage in the sordid necessity of politics. Women, they…

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The Victorian Cheese Mines and Poverty

Pencilcase Shoveha’penny was one of the Victorian era’s most famous social reformers. She was a daughter of the UK’s richest Cheese mine owning families in the Wensleydale area. This was a region known for its extraordinary number of cheese mines. Consequently, the poor from the surrounding rural areas were drawn to the cheese mining villages, each clustering around a local cheese pit. By modern standards, the rows of terraced houses in these villages were poor and basic. But for the rural workers of the Victorian era they were a massive improvement on what they were used to. However, for reformers…

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A Historical Bent

Those of you of a historical bent will no doubt be aware that these days you can get an ointment for it. Not only that, you will no doubt be familiar with the legend of Lady Godiva of Coventry. However, you may not be aware of a similar historical figure from the annals of the history of Little Frigging in the Wold that we have just made up in order to attract more tourist and their money that recent research in the History Department (formerly the chicken shed) at the University of Little Frigging recently uncovered. Here we speak of…

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Olympic Level Cheese Ignoring

Spigot Tremblehammer is probably the world’s leading exponent of the ancient art of cheese ignoring. Although there are still several professional and semi-professional cheese ignoring leagues throughout the world (and Canada), many sports fans often overlook it. However, all that is set to change now that the Olympic committee has confirmed that cheese ignoring will be – only for the second time – included in the Olympic games. That is providing the Olympic organisers can find a city daft enough to stump up the eye-bleeding sums necessary to host the next games. Of course, cheese ignoring was all set to…

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