Category: Culture

The Theory of Pie

In the past, people often thought the universe was unchanging and eternal… at least until the invention of the pie. Philosophers, after Plato, thought this world was somehow an imperfect copy of some ideal existence. This world was a mere shadow cast on the cave wall, of the perfect world. But as Francis Bacon discovered centuries later in one of his earliest true scientific experiments, putting pasty around some meat changes everything. Although, the Greek philosophers, notably Heraclitus, had first noted that people rarely wanted to eat the same meal twice in a row. So, shoving some meat, veg and…

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The Philosophy of Bacon Sandwiches

‘Each donkey is unique in its own way. Then again so is each mandolin. However, approaching the wrong donkey with the wrong mandolin is not recommended. Nor – for that matter - is approaching the right donkey with the wrong mandolin.’ As many of those who have studied philosophy will recognise, those are the words of the great post-neo-realist prephenominalistional philosopher Bert ‘Bert’ Presupposition. Not only did Presupposition come up with what is undoubtedly the greatest examination of the complex relationship between donkeys and mandolins in the whole of philosophy, he also claimed with evidence to back up his claim,…

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A Real World Out There?

This world is not the world I remember. It has been some years, how many I do not know. But it goes beyond that. Changes over the time I’ve been away I could expect and understand. But this – these changes – go beyond mere alterations made by the passage of time. Something fundamental is different from this world to the one I left behind. It should be a matter of subtracting the year I left this world from the current one to give me an idea of how much time I lost while I was… away. But the calendar…

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How Cheese Made Civilisation Possible

Many people these days are familiar with how evolutionary psychology has shaped the human mind. For back in the early years, when humans were small groups of hunter gatherers, there was little or no naturally occurring cheese to be found. Those who did discover the natural cheese deposits began to mine it and develop the various stone tools that archaeology has shown were used to mine the cheese. Although rather primitive by today’s cheese mining technology, those early stone tools enabled many of these small bands of hunter-gatherers to settle in places where the cheese could be mined. Originally, archaeologists…

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Tears of Sadness, Tears of Joy

We did not know why it happened. It felt like any other time. The years rolled on much as they always had, and – we assumed – always would. The young were born, they got older, and if disease or other misfortune did not tear them from us, they married, had children of their own and then the gods called them back to the Old World. Or, at least we thought they did. Now we know. Now we know that the stories told about the gods, the stories passed down by the elders from generation to generation were not true.…

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The More Advanced Fruit-Based Sexual Perversions

We have mentioned fruit-based perversions before, but for those wishing to further their understanding of these more esoteric deviations today we are going to examine some of the more advanced fruit-based sexual perversions. Such deviations as the Loganberry Run and the Strawberry Feel are, quite evidently, more for the summer months. This is especially so in the case of the Loganberry Run where the loganberry bowler will need a long run up before bowling the loganberries. That is if the receiver is to get the full erotic benefit from the event. With the Strawberry Feel, of course, the long light…

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A Surfeit of the Middle Ages

Although born in the late Middle-Ages, Palfrey Surfeit became one of the most famous proto-scientists and artists of his – and all – time. Surfeit astounded the scholars of the period when he discovered that women were naked under their clothes. He also proved the moon was not actually made of the navel lint of angels as was commonly believed back then. The natural scientists of the time, following Aristotle, were aware that there were - in theory - such things as naked ladies. After all, they believed the first woman, Eve, was naked in the Garden of Eden. But…

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The Little Frigging Ladies Synchronised Fondling Display Team

Now, as it happens, the Little Frigging Ladies Synchronised fondling display team are already to give the annual Little Frigging mixed-doubles fondling demonstration that – as a tradition dating back to the week before the introduction of colour TV into the locality – is both ancient and noble. Now, those of you who have not had the pleasure of receiving a synchronised fondling from a team of experts can well imagine, it is not an experience for those not able to stand firm under such an onslaught. This is especially true when the highly dexterous fingers of the ladies are…

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How Computers Became Ubiquitous

Fumigate Sockdrawer became the world’s foremost computer scientists at an unusually young age. He developed one of the leading software programs that became essential for every computer in the home or workplace in the early years of the internet. Sockdrawer was also instrumental in the growth of the internet from a hobbyist pastime to the essential service it is these days. There have been many discussions of the early days of the computer revolution and its pioneers before. However, even the more comprehensive histories have sometimes overlooked the role of Sockdrawer in the story of the computer. As more or…

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The History of Politics

Back then, no-one expected it to last. At least, they thought we would not have quite as much of it as we have now. Back in those early days of civilisation, people expected that politics would be kept behind closed doors where it belonged. They assumed that decent people would do their best to avoid politics as best they could, and - only if necessary – would they have to soil their hands with it, and then as little as possible. In those days too, many assumed that only men would engage in the sordid necessity of politics. Women, they…

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