Tag: comedy

Strip Ludo and World Domination

Spanglethighs Dromedarywrench is probably the UK’s most underrated Strip Ludo player currently on the scene. As we all know, Strip Ludo is a highly-competitive game, especially at the professional level. These days, some Strip Ludo Grand Mistresses have to live beyond Earth orbit for tax reasons. Every four years, the Strip Ludo World Tournament is the most watched board game on the world’s sports and adult TV channels, with annual advertising and sponsorship revenues in the billions. Those who have inside knowledge of the game’s governing body, FISL, say that the body’s accountants need a special button on their calculators…

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The Victorian Cheese Mines and Poverty

Pencilcase Shoveha’penny was one of the Victorian era’s most famous social reformers. She was a daughter of the UK’s richest Cheese mine owning families in the Wensleydale area. This was a region known for its extraordinary number of cheese mines. Consequently, the poor from the surrounding rural areas were drawn to the cheese mining villages, each clustering around a local cheese pit. By modern standards, the rows of terraced houses in these villages were poor and basic. But for the rural workers of the Victorian era they were a massive improvement on what they were used to. However, for reformers…

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On Knowing Where to Shove It

It was not easy. Although, it seldom is – as anyone who has been married for any length of time knows. Still, I did as she suggested and tried it. Perhaps there are some who go for that sort of thing. But, on the whole, I do not think I am one of them. Anyway, I thanked her for her suggestion and pointed out that it was not really an adequate resolution to the difficulty of the situation we found ourselves in. She gave me one of those looks, which suggested that if I have the audacity to question her…

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On Making Full Use of the Orgy Pitch

Sometimes it can be a little too disconcerting to see one’s Inter-Village Orgy League team not making full use of the width of the orgy pitch, especially when they are trailing by several points or at least one multiple orgasm as the match enters the final quarter of the third half. Of course, the orgy team themselves will no doubt be as eager as possible to make as much use of the other side’s end as they can, and – of course – to go deeper, especially as the clock begins to run down. However, there is always the danger…

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The Special Theory of Cheese

These days Spangle Teatray is probably the world’s most famous TV scientist. Both TV critics and viewers regard her hit BBC TV series on Norman Ninestein’s Special Theory of Cheese as the best science programme ever on TV. As one critic said, ‘it is the most comprehensive scientific description of the fundamental role cheese plays in the universe for a popular audience.’ In viewing figures alone, the Theory of Cheese series beat several series of The Naked Auditor, C4’s frank expose of naturist accountancy, presented by Sprinkle Doubleentry, the world’s leading naughty accountant. The viewing public these days is rather…

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The Naked Pogo Stick Steeplechase

Summer is, at last, in the air and so it is time for all the denizens of Little Frigging to dust off our pogo sticks and meet on the village green for the first of this year’s Naked Pogo Stick Steeplechases. This year we should have several good races as we have been promised a good summer by the weather forecasters. Even Old Feebletrousers has been quite upbeat about it, even his divinations utilising his myriad ancient danglings have meant his prognostications have turned positive about the prospects for this summer. A decent naked pogo-stick steeplechase – of course –…

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Rural Policing

As any admirer of crime fiction will no doubt be aware, the English Rural landscape is often used as a background for murder mysteries and other such nefarious goings-on. However, the reality in places like Little Frigging is far more mundane, with our local Little Frigging village policeman, PC Ghonnemadd, rarely called upon to get his truncheon out in the course of his duties. Except, of course, when requested by one of the ladies of the village who feels herself in need of the strong arm of the law to help her overcome her current predicament, perhaps – for example…

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A Historical Bent

Those of you of a historical bent will no doubt be aware that these days you can get an ointment for it. Not only that, you will no doubt be familiar with the legend of Lady Godiva of Coventry. However, you may not be aware of a similar historical figure from the annals of the history of Little Frigging in the Wold that we have just made up in order to attract more tourist and their money that recent research in the History Department (formerly the chicken shed) at the University of Little Frigging recently uncovered. Here we speak of…

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After It Is All Over

‘Come here,’ Daniel said, folding her into his strong arms. They kissed as the flames engulfed Doctor Blowhard’s secret island headquarters.   THE END   ‘You can let me go now.’ She struggled out of his arms. ‘The book is over.’ Stella Honeythighs took a step back, away from him. ‘But I thought-‘ ‘I know what you thought. I could feel it pressing into me.’ Daniel glanced down at his own crotch. ‘Sorry. Only you know how he wrote me.’ ‘Yes. I do. Have you been eating garlic?’ She wiped her mouth with the back of her hand. ‘It was…

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Use Of the Barn

During the traditional British summer, it is often the case that the frequent drizzle gives way to actual rain. For those who do not wish to partake of fully-moistened perversions then it is advisable to gather all ones accoutrements together and repair to some place more suitable, and – hopefully – drier. Traditionally, in the suburban and urban environments the bedroom has often been the location of choice in such an eventuality. However, those of us who reside in the country have often made more use of the barn. For not only does it provide plenty of straw, and -…

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