Category: Places

All Village Orgies and the Use of the Pudding

No doubt you all here (both of you) are more than familiar with the essential role played by the pudding (or dessert) in the village orgy. Any regular village orgy goer (and by your interest in this particular reading matter I have to assume you are – at least a bit of – a goer) will no doubt have experienced the deep satisfaction of having warm custard poured over your crumble at a village orgy. Or – in perhaps the warmer weather – having ice cream applied to your strawberries in a very erotic and deeply-stimulating manner. Of course, many…

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Free Kindle Humour Novel: In the Beginning

In the Beginning   FREE for the next five days. Get it here (UK link), here (US link), or here (universal link) In the Beginning It’s a God’s life. Albert Meadows, recently made redundant and tired of his disappointing life, is looking to make a new start and is desperate to find something worthwhile to fill his time. So, what could be better than creating a brand new universe of his own, in his garden shed? But, when he introduces intelligent life to his new universe, things don’t turn out as he planned, especially when the tribes on his planet each…

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Strip Ludo and World Domination

Spanglethighs Dromedarywrench is probably the UK’s most underrated Strip Ludo player currently on the scene. As we all know, Strip Ludo is a highly-competitive game, especially at the professional level. These days, some Strip Ludo Grand Mistresses have to live beyond Earth orbit for tax reasons. Every four years, the Strip Ludo World Tournament is the most watched board game on the world’s sports and adult TV channels, with annual advertising and sponsorship revenues in the billions. Those who have inside knowledge of the game’s governing body, FISL, say that the body’s accountants need a special button on their calculators…

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Balancing the Budget

‘Ma’am?’ ‘Yes, What is it?’ Queegella did not look up. It was the end of the tax year and her department’s budget for the next fiscal year needed finalising. She looked up now. Hellitron stood in the doorway. Maybe Queegella thought, there was a cost saving there in her doorway. She made a note. ‘Ma’am?’ he repeated. ‘This better be important, Hellitron.’ He swallowed, at least his left head did. His right head glanced nervously over his shoulder. ‘I… we think it is… important, that is.’ ‘And?’ She tapped a claw on the desk. Hellitron was pretty, though, and she…

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All-Village Weekend Orgy Tea-Breaks

It goes without saying, although I am going to say it anyway, that all manner of subjects come up for discussion during the statutory tea breaks taken part-way through any all-village weekend orgy in the village hall. Obviously as this is England, the subject of the weather is one of perennial fascination. Especially the way the drizzle runs down the backs of your legs and fills up your wellies whenever engaged in any meadow-based perversion, Such As Nine Men (And a Brace of Dairymaids) Went To Mow, Bringing In The Strumpets, A-Fondling We Will Go, and so forth. Then there…

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The Victorian Cheese Mines and Poverty

Pencilcase Shoveha’penny was one of the Victorian era’s most famous social reformers. She was a daughter of the UK’s richest Cheese mine owning families in the Wensleydale area. This was a region known for its extraordinary number of cheese mines. Consequently, the poor from the surrounding rural areas were drawn to the cheese mining villages, each clustering around a local cheese pit. By modern standards, the rows of terraced houses in these villages were poor and basic. But for the rural workers of the Victorian era they were a massive improvement on what they were used to. However, for reformers…

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Jehovah’s Perverts

It happens usually about once a month or so with all the inevitability of a drunken celebrity appearing in the tabloid headlines. There you are going about your normal daily business, maybe oiling your sex spatulas or ritually polishing your perversion tandem when there comes a knock on your doorbell. Maybe you are expecting a rather bulky package in plain wrapping from a specialist supplier (online only), so you open the door, expecting the postman, only to be confronted by THEM! "Good morning, sir! Have you ever thought that the world would be a much better place if only people…

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Not as We Know It

It was soft, gentle, almost like the echo of some fading half-forgotten dream left behind on the pillow of a warm summer morning. Berna felt it there, in her mind, waiting for her. It should have been comforting, a reassurance of something living, like a docile pet in the hands of a child. But…. Something made Berna doubt. There was something about it being there which was not right. It did not belong there, and she had no idea what it was or how it got there. There was something wrong about this calm, docility too. The calming warmth of…

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On Making Full Use of the Orgy Pitch

Sometimes it can be a little too disconcerting to see one’s Inter-Village Orgy League team not making full use of the width of the orgy pitch, especially when they are trailing by several points or at least one multiple orgasm as the match enters the final quarter of the third half. Of course, the orgy team themselves will no doubt be as eager as possible to make as much use of the other side’s end as they can, and – of course – to go deeper, especially as the clock begins to run down. However, there is always the danger…

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The Special Theory of Cheese

These days Spangle Teatray is probably the world’s most famous TV scientist. Both TV critics and viewers regard her hit BBC TV series on Norman Ninestein’s Special Theory of Cheese as the best science programme ever on TV. As one critic said, ‘it is the most comprehensive scientific description of the fundamental role cheese plays in the universe for a popular audience.’ In viewing figures alone, the Theory of Cheese series beat several series of The Naked Auditor, C4’s frank expose of naturist accountancy, presented by Sprinkle Doubleentry, the world’s leading naughty accountant. The viewing public these days is rather…

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