On Knowing Where to Shove It

It was not easy.

Although, it seldom is – as anyone who has been married for any length of time knows. Still, I did as she suggested and tried it.

Perhaps there are some who go for that sort of thing. But, on the whole, I do not think I am one of them. Anyway, I thanked her for her suggestion and pointed out that it was not really an adequate resolution to the difficulty of the situation we found ourselves in.

She gave me one of those looks, which suggested that if I have the audacity to question her judgement in the future, she will insert it up there herself.

And she will not be gentle.

I know that kind of look.

She can be a rather determined lady.

On the whole, though, in the name of a quiet life, I do tend to go along with what she – rather quaintly – calls her suggestions. In the past that have resulted in some discomfort at times, but nothing quite like this.

Although, next time – if there is a next time – I will refrain from offering her any helpful hints on how to prepare fresh fruit and leave her to it.

Next time, though, if – as I said – there is a next time. I think I may decide to at least take the leaves off and peel the pineapple before I do as my darling wife suggested I do with the bloody pineapple.

It certainly made watching TV for the rest of that evening a more uncomfortable experience than normal, even with all the extra cushions.

Overall, though, I think it can be put down as one of those educational events – a learning experience. It certainly taught me a thing or two, if only about my own anatomy and the relative size of the pineapple to where my dear wife suggested I should shove it.

Still, I suppose, while there is nothing specifically referencing pineapple in the marriage vows as such, there does seem to be a certain degree of following the general gist of the aforesaid vows, when on tries one’s best to acquiesce to one’s beloved’s suggestions. No matter how difficulty it makes bending over to fill the dishwasher after the evening meal is completed.

Although, I think next time – if etc. (see above) – I will forgo the purported health benefits of fresh fruit and go for the tinned variety instead, providing I don’t have to ask an already somewhat tetchy better half where the tin opener has gone to this time. One lesson I have learnt for such an endeavour is that it is best the items in question be taken out of the tin first; preferably, too it would be a tin of the chunks rather than the rings.

After all these years, you can’t say I haven’t learnt anything from married life.


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