Is Pole-Vaulting Considered a Sexual Perversion?

In the usual course of affairs pole-vaulting is not often considered to be one of the great, or noble, perverted arts. I would agree that in most cases this is an argument not without some foundation.

However, I would also maintain that it is feasible to make a strong case for its utility in certain situations. In particular, the large-scale outdoor orgy, especially when the putative next partner named on your orgy card is some way off across the other side of the orgy field. Moreover, though, I would maintain one best not adopt that strategy for most indoor orgies, unless particular notice is taken of the height of the ceiling.

That particular mistake is one our Little Frigging Village Policeman, PC Ghonnemadd, will not make again, after his spectacular mishap during the New Year’s Eve orgy of 2013 in the Little Frigging village hall.

A shattering collision between one’s neither regions and a fluorescent lighting shade at the apex of one’s vault is bound at least put a dent in one’s ardour. As the evidence on PC Ghonnemadd’s person showed.

After the accident, it took a few moments for our good lady doctor, Minnie Strayshuns to extract herself from her Ladies’ Excuse Me with Strom Thighhammer, Village Nurse Pam Purring and Maureen Trouser-Quandary.

But, once on the scene. Dr Strayshuns gave the PC a thorough examination. After a tender manipulation of the injury, Dr Strayshuns announced that the denting – although seeming initially severe – would right itself in a few days. The injury did, however rule PC Ghonnemadd out of the next three matches in the Inter-Village Orgy league.

 

Yours perversely: Norbert Trouser-Quandary

 

[A tale from the From the LFITW archive. More from Little Frigging in the Wold here]